I had high hopes for this weekend. Now that we have eliminated the dreaded coxsackie, I figured our summer was shaping up.
Our town put on a Wayne Day Bazaar and I put aside some dough so the boys could enjoy themselves. Of course it wasn’t enough in their eyes and oh how I wish money were no object, but hey, we do the best we can. They really did have fun riding the unlimited rides and after playing the one game each we had money for they pronounced all carnival games a rip-off. Amen to that.
We had a late night, the kind all summer nights should be, but we had to get up relatively early to make it to the city for G to have his EEG. This was to be a 24 hour ambulatory test so the technician put the electrodes on and wrapped his head up and we tied on a bandana and off we went. G was prepared to tell anyone who asked that he was bionic or a wizard. I think was mildly disappointed that no one asked.
We ate a nice picnic lunch in Central Park and I thought about how lucky we were to live in a place people only dream of going. C mused that he would like to live in the city but deduced we would have much smaller living quarters which didn’t exactly float his boat. I pointed out that they would have to be a lot quieter too because neighbors. C said we would have to live on the bottom floor and I nodded but then G stated that we would then have to deal with people trampling overhead. Very wise.
We left the city to drive to Westchester to see a colleague of mine whose husband was having an art show. It was at a gorgeous library in Irvington which is a lovely, quaint town. The boys enjoyed the art (and snacks) and so did I. The artist takes digital photos and then manipulates them in photoshop to look like paintings. They were beautiful. He was very impressed with my sensitive, articulate, creative boys. He also made it a point to let me know that it was my influence that allowed them to be that way. He told me he could tell that I had connection to art and that I was creative as well. It was so nice to have someone see these things about me when often I feel I am only seen as mom. And a single, harried one at that.
I resolved to be in closer touch with that person inside of me. The one who longs for art and travel and beauty and wisdom. Of course when we got home we were all so tired the most I could do was pop in a movie for us all to watch.
Today I had dreamed we would go take a hike and take some photographs and talk of all the places we wanted to see and visit. By the time I was done with my chores, however, I discovered that I had screwed up my back. So I popped some ibuprofen and soaked in a hot bath and told myself there was plenty of summer left for those adventures.
There is so much for us all to see and do and I am determined to figure out a way to do it. Travel is expensive, but living an unfulfilled life without chasing one’s dreams seems more costly. I want to share my dreams with my sons and help them get a broad view of the world. I want them to understand that even though we need to make a living it is even more important to live. Regardless of the obstacles that seem to stand in our way, I will teach my sons that no goal is out of reach if you are determined enough to make it happen. And if there are three more determined, stubborn, creative, sensitive people living under one roof than us–I’d love to meet them. Oh, the places we will go!