Getting the best of me?

I recently advised a friend that I felt his ex-girlfriend was getting the best of him.

Traditionally, if you say, “Her temper got the best of her,” you are implying that she is being controlled by her temper. If you say, “Don’t let him get the best of you,” you mean, don’t let him come out on top.

And I did mean that she seemed to be controlling the situation and that he was on the losing end of the relationship. But when I said it, I also meant that the situation with the ex was literally getting the best that this man had to offer. His energy, his brain power, his love–all wrapped up in this person who had decided to say goodbye and walk away; perhaps to the detriment of other parts of his life. I reflected on this double meaning for some time and began realizing there were quite a few situations that were getting the best of me that shouldn’t be.

I, too, have let my brain and heart be consumed with a person who lost their love for me. I’ve spent way too much time and energy under the guise of self-improvement with the hope that I would desirable to that person again.

Time and energy and hope that could have been spent cultivating a new relationship with someone who didn’t need to be convinced of my worth.

I have allowed politics and stress at work affect my mood and behavior. Allowed frustration and fear to overcome me and sap my patience, strength and resolve.

Patience and strength and resolve that could be used with my children who deserve the best of me more than any other person or situation.

I’ve let my emotions control me instead of the other way around. Allowing them to hijack my being and reacting in the moment, instead of taking a moment to breathe, refocus, and then act.

Reactions that may have cost me good decisions, friendships, and understanding.

As the wonderful Glennon Doyle over at Momastery reminded me today, we need to travel light. No use lugging around those heavy thoughts, emotions, grudges, relationships, crosses. Those things should NOT get the best of you. Ever. Give your best to the people and things that matter; for me: my kids, my health, my passions, my family, and those people who truly love me for who I am. I will no longer let the rest get the best of me.

The best of me

The best of me

What’s getting the best of you? And what should be?

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