Shaking it off

It’s May? How strange. I climbed into my hole sometime in early March and it sure doesn’t seem like two and a half months have passed, but that is what my calendar is telling me.

I went into survival mode and as is par for the course the world kept spinning around me. Damn. I hate that.

Not really, but kinda. When I’m in my hole I wish that everyone was also hibernating. That life had pushed a collective pause button and we could just go about, getting our shit together, until an agreed upon time when life can commence.

But it doesn’t work that way.

It’s OK though because I have learned that going into my hole is tantamount to survival. I may not write, I may not read, I may not do anything except get up every day and breathe in and out. Mostly, these days, I do what has to be done for my sons and everything else becomes secondary. Gravy. Icing. Extra.

This is all fine because nine plus years ago I agreed to be a mom. And when I did, everything else had to find a back burner.

I can do this. I can be a mom and have my other outlets. Most of the time. Other times, I can just be a mom. And you know, feed us. That’s enough, right?

Now that the days are long and mostly warm, I can attempt some other stuff. Like writing this blog and working on my novel (which is really a screenplay and needs to be adjusted, but no matter). I can feed my soul and my kids. This is what my time in the hole gives me.

Regeneration. Rebirth. Recognizance.

I’m ready. Are you?


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