My blog almost got a new name today. It isn’t the first time I’ve had this thought and probably won’t be the last. When I started this blog, the extreme highs and lows of being a single mom had already passed: the cold hard reality of doing it alone, the transition back to work, figuring out where I fit amongst my friend groups now that I was a mom, the insanity that transpired between the boys’ father and myself, the incredible joy of watching my babies grow and relishing all the “firsts”, while lamenting not having anyone to really share them with, having no money and needing to rely on the generosity of my father who essentially paid me the child support I wasn’t getting for the first couple of years, picking up and moving across country to be closer to my family and to get a higher paying job, how life changing it was to work in NYC…clearly, I could go on and on and on.
The blog was going to be my outlet for writing, as well as catharsis for the roller coaster I felt I was on every day. I couldn’t keep up with it, though. It was difficult for me to figure out how to take care of these babies/toddlers/little boys AND work AND keep up the house AND attempt to have a social life AND write. So there were small periods of time where I would be feeling rather in control of my life and I would write in the blog and then I’d put it aside when things got too overwhelming. There were a lot of fits and starts. I did a lot of writing offline, but sitting down and making sense of what I was going through and putting it into clear and cohesive posts just seemed like stress that I didn’t need to take on.
Now, the boys are older and can do some things on their own and I find that I actually have time and energy and presence of mind to write. But, in some ways, I feel like all my good stories are gone.
My blog is less “Adventures in Single Mommyhood” and more “Day-to-day Craziness that Pretty Much Every Mom Goes Through”.
A friend of mine has been encouraging me to start a Facebook page for my blog. I’m resistant to the idea for a number of reasons. One of the lamest reasons I gave was because my blog doesn’t have a hook. It doesn’t have a clever name. It doesn’t have a lot of the characteristics of what I would consider a successful blog. Or, more accurately, a “marketable” blog
Maybe a year or so after creating Adventures in Single Mommyhood, I created another blog, Every Other Thing. I figured that I could safely blog about whatever crossed my distracted mind under such a large umbrella. Of course, thinking that I would actually post regularly on two blogs when I can barely keep up with one was rather ambitious of me and to date there is not one post on Every Other Thing.
I’m always wondering if I have boxed myself into a corner with this “single mommy” label. I’ve learned that so much of the motherhood experience is outside of the labels we are given (or give ourselves): stay-at-home mom, working mom, single mom, co-parenting mom, Pinterest mom, soccer mom, free-range mom, helicopter mom. We are so much more than the adjectives; it’s the “mom” that is the relevant part of the label and runs through us all as a common thread. And moreover, I feel like I’m more than just a mom, too. And sometimes I struggle to identify with those other parts of me because I don’t write about those things publicly and share them with the world.
And thus, I had a moment today where I thought maybe I will leave behind AISM and embrace Every Other Thing. My immediate anxiety over losing even my small number of followers and loyal readers told me that maybe I wasn’t ready for such a big step. Plus, I am not ready to completely leave “mommyhood” as a topic behind. So perhaps, I will just start to dabble in Every Other Thing. Maybe I will start a “Name My New Blog” contest. I do find that my creativity is often spurred on by other people’s creative ideas.
Should I change the name of my blog? Have any name suggestions? All comments and thoughts welcome!